"Do not say or write "anyways"--not ever. The word is "anyway."
The form "anyways" is found in some dialects in the United States, but it is not standard English, and it should never be used in any situation where you want to be considered reasonably well educated."
Actually it's not such a big deal to say "anyways"! It won't make people think that you are not well educated. A lot of my professors in the university say "anyways" all the time and they have master or phD degrees.
I am not so agreed with you about woman's career coming second to dating. I live in US. I don't know whether there is any social difference. Men respect smart and independent ladies. It shows you are a down to earth and intelligent person if you succeed in your career. People love to hang around with them, especially those with good personality. I don't think being dedicated to one's career hurt woman's attractiveness.
Um... hai loh... I have a few friends who are mid-30s successful and always complaining about non-bf situation. I nod my head and ignore. You're absolutely right: you made a choice in life. So live with it.
心態、思考方向(男女不盡相同)、對事物的理解、邏輯運算(男女各有長處--determined by what type of knowledge they received can you explain why a female finance student can speak financial language ?maybe it's because she learn that language from the textbook.If I learn as an finance student ,I will act as a finance student,my gender has approximately zero influence to my behavior.
Please verify your logic.
If you think from both perspective, you will have the whole picture,Now you are just thinking from male's angle.
I don't have to 消化一下,every word come out of your mouth is how you interpret my message, not me.I am just a human being, and you are a man.
女性善表達男性較不怕痛-->等於女性男性一出生就有這功能?那麼一位女性如果有弱聽的問題(如我),我仍會善於表達? 我的表達能力是取決於我與其他人的互動,練習表達能力,而不是因為我的性別或聆聽能力。沒有人一出生就擁有某種能力,男人數理好,是因為學數理的男人在過去是主流,practice make perfect,但當學數理的女性學習時間一樣,出來的差異度可能很輕微。
那麼為什麼不能接受你口中的中女,她們在商業分析能力上比男人好些?為什麼要說她們要為自己so call 的"失敗事業"負責?why should they apologize for their gender and age just because they are more capable than same (Physical)age ,but less capable men? 人力資源嚴重錯配-->點會錯配呢?現今的女性是用左右腦思考,男性暫時只用左腦,你覺得邊個轉數快d 呢? 我從來沒有說男人叻過女人叻,我是說有能力的人叻,有能力的人會分男女嗎??似乎你才有這種either 男人叻 or 女人叻的思想。 我么講左囉,physical age is 25,mental age is slightly higher than my physical age.你唔信都冇辨法,現實就是現實,難道我的實力會因為你不相信而降低嗎?而你的能力就因為不肯面對現實而提升嗎?
I don't agree with her in this response. She thought all of these "middle-women" didn't get a guy because they didn't spend time to look for one while they were in their twenties, or they prioritized career first in their twenties. I think that's wrong. Not all of these "middle-women" were like that (didn't look, and/or prioritized career first).
All of my cousins dated/looked for guys throughout their twenties, but they broke up or couldn't find one that matches. They later met more suitable guys when they were 30-31 and then got married a few years later. So, it's not always because they didn't look in their twenties or that they prioritized career over love, it can be because of they couldn't find suitable guys or that the guys they dated back in the 20's were not suitable.
the reason I (tried to )response every single comment were: 1st ) There is no room for complacency, I just want to point out the difference I see, I didn't aim at winning the arguing battle. Remember: Exaggerating the problem is not the way to solve it.
2nd)I think Asian are suffer from the psychology of colonialism and act proud that we were worthy of being colonized. I believe everyone is unique, and has his/her strength and weakness, Don’t waste your time on exaggerating the problem. If you really want to waste your time,** waste**it on exploring your own strength, the payoff is higher, I can promise.
Echo u rock, despite the seemingly strong language u use. Can't believe u're only 25.
for some reasons, i hv little desire to pop into 陳大文's blog, day one when he left his link at many popular bloggers' places. Too vulgar. Not my cup of tea.
It seems to me many married/engaged girls look upon their single counterparts with a "pity-you" perspective, as if they were winners. A life has many dimensions. Only in the end one can tell if he/she has lived a non-regrettable life.
TO Selina: Thank you so Much!!!:) I always believe quantity doesn't mean quality ,and this rule apply to everyone,as long as they make the same efford as me. To:男人未必喜歡愛說大道理, 牙尖嘴利,不顧他人感受, 多管閒事,講太多諷刺性的說話的女性 It's always good to know what you want. Maybe I am the Absolute Vodka to most people, but there are always someone will see me as his cup of tea.I just need to find that person. Don't forget,Hk is just a small city, we have other countries on this planet. Mind me, I am just 25,still have plenty of time to locate my market.
TO those who think I am too offensive/strong (especially HK guys;) I would like to summarize my messages: 1) I believe everyone have the same learning ability, no matter their age, gender and physical ability. It’s all depends on how HARD WORKINGof he/she . And I think they deserve the same respect from the society basic on their ability and contribution ONLY. IF you think I am too strong /offensive, I would like to share one song with you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4cVGa33PUY I think ‘你有沒有看見我的傷,你若還是一如往常” exactly describe how I feel now (from the perspective of a young woman, business student) The ONLY reason I act so offensive ,NOT because I want to be as popular as 趙燕萍/陳大文,NOT because I want to START A WAR between men and women. It is just because I want to share my feeling from the perspective of a HK young women &business student, so you could see the difference between how you feel and how I see this society. After all , I wish everyone in HK could find his /her 遺失的美好。 Now if you change you mind, please protect me, don’t Google me or send me to the media, as I prefer normal and quiet life:)
one word. I actually re-watched the TVB program to see who the "boyish" women are (as pilloried by some over the internet.)
My feeling: i find them TOTALLY OKAY. If they can be described overly boyish, then one quarter of hk girls can be put into dustbin as well. They talk and act normal. (in fact i find them more natural than Winnie & Yoko ).
That said, i also hope my remarks here won't add to them any unnecessary (media) pressure. I am just expressing some of my genuine feeling. Any maker of different opinion should not be instantly dubbed as 趙燕萍 (et al), which only reflects one's shallowness.
令人討厭自己是一件難過的事-->haha..don't assume too much ,you are not even on my friend list.One day you will be disappointed by your own assumption.
*說大道理, 牙尖嘴利,不顧他人感受, 多管閒事,講太多諷刺性的說話的女性* If you read my reply,you will find I tried not to say mean things like*you are a loser *or labeled people,as I think it's disrespect by labeling someone. Also I don't want to embarrass myself by peeing in front of public.Don't call me a bitch ,because you did pee and I am just being honest.
I am writing this from a business student perspective and for the future Hongkongese,I always think the world is a Jungle ,survival of the fittest is the only rule we need to follow. It's always up to you to choose survive or not, No one can eliminate other,you are the only one who should take care of your own life.
70 則留言:
愛爾蘭著名作家王爾德(Oscar Wilde)表示男人結婚是因為疲倦，女人結婚是因為好奇，結果雙方都大失所望。:)
我相信有女人(好似Queenie咁)係純粹因為唔好彩,遇唔到對的人,又以為人地係對的人,浪費時間係個壞男人身上。
我覺得你好似一路講其實一路忍緊笑....
哈哈....\@@/~~~~~~
PS : 點解條片你對眼睇落越來越大嘅，好銳利，兩個眼球彈下彈下咁，好不安呀.....(唔好打頭，thanks..)
wot do you think about this?
"Do not say or write "anyways"--not ever. The word is "anyway."
The form "anyways" is found in some dialects in the United States, but it is not standard English, and it should never be used in any situation where you want to be considered reasonably well educated."
http://grammartips.homestead.com/anyway.html
it's just a slang.
don't take it so seriously.
we say anywayzzz a lot.
香港讀者所學的英文多來自英國而非美國,所以根本不會知道甚麼 american slang,只會覺得"anyway加個s很刺耳",和"這個人英文真差"
我都覺得而家的社會係好中意跨大男女之間,呢D問題,雖然我未到中女,不過都差唔多啦,但係反而我覺得女性由30歲開始,先係最有魅力,因為個人睇O既野多左,又對自己的要求有左了解,所以係呢D歲數應該係過得最精彩,至少我自己係咁唸,同埋成功的女人應該係有事業又有及愛情的,問題在於你懂得去經營,一個人唔可以依賴一個人,但可以依靠呀!做女人應該要有點智慧,有智慧的女人都會識得係咩時候做咩野的!所以唔會出現片中所講工作狂啦!因為適當的扮傻就係智慧啦!
大部份同意, 我係男仔, 一定唔會埋你口中個兩個男仔頭身, 佢地俾人感覺就係in the market of LGBT; 不是歧視, 但straight的男仔真係係佢地身上sense唔到女人香
不過我嘗試係女性角度睇下, 佢地為工作打拚都岩的, 唔係靠晒男人之後一腳離婚咁點算呢.係佢地唔識係黃金時期balance者.
btw, queenie 好正! 佢應該有好多仔的.係結唔到婚者.
唔知點解,我覺得呢個節目好震撼~
and...節目後段有個中女,男仔頭...睇到果度,心入面講左句「That's WHY!!!」
(係感覺,無意冒犯女仕)
應同。 =)
Actually it's not such a big deal to say "anyways"! It won't make people think that you are not well educated. A lot of my professors in the university say "anyways" all the time and they have master or phD degrees.
完全認同你講嘅嘢。
以前女生不需要考慮所謂的成就感。當她能夠於廚房烹調一頓豐富的晚餐時，而丈夫能夠讚賞她下廚的烹飪技藝，這位女生已經浸淫這種幸福家庭的生活。可惜現在女生的經濟條件愈來愈獨立，自然她們會調整終生伴侶的門檻，當她們暫時不能尋找達到自己理想門檻的伴侶時，也要學習排列追求人生理想的先後次序。
也許妳喝下一杯百般滋味的珈琲時，先放入糖奶還是先放入珈琲粉末，端視妳想喝甚麼味道的珈琲了。
I am not so agreed with you about woman's career coming second to dating. I live in US. I don't know whether there is any social difference. Men respect smart and independent ladies. It shows you are a down to earth and intelligent person if you succeed in your career. People love to hang around with them, especially those with good personality. I don't think being dedicated to one's career hurt woman's attractiveness.
You have no idea how working hours in HK is like; say 8am to 9pm, is pretty standard.
I meet my friends at 9pm for dinner.
Dinner+drinks with clients/business partners/potential investors->home at 1 am.
香港而家嘅所謂「拼搏精神」，只係工作時間鬥長，一日做十幾個鐘，又OT ，有好多人仲要在家處理公司嘢，要時刻 ready，其實好變態。
企業老闆用最簡單嘅邏輯去諗：「工時越長 = 生產力咪提升囉」。
但香港打工仔尤其時代港女，又覺得：「睇下我幾勁！我至夠拼搏呀，好威威呀！」咁嘛。
咁員工接受，老闆唔會覺得有問題o架，反正「你做之嘛，又唔駛我做，話之你(員工)」...
一日做十幾個鐘，點結交異性呀。唔係好明。
特別想借啲地方回應一下上面果位 live in US 嘅留言。
聽過 N 次好多呢啲咁嘅海外華人，除左大談「美國民主好多問題，所以香港未必適合民主囉」嘅唐人街 feel嘅言論外，亦聽過無數次「外國咁咁咁啦，香港應該點點點啦」，大佬，外國唔同香港，外國好多嘢都無乜問題，但香港就好多嘢好有問題，明白未？
唔明問下奧巴馬，thanks。
十分同意 erica~
片入面最掂果個 queenie 唔知點解佢搵唔到...
另外, erica 我覺得你頭髮"kam"住耳仔個樣young d 同靚d
大男人心理就一定唔愛中女,因為冇得在朋友面前晒威風,冇晒男人威嚴
小男人心理就一定愛中女,因為可以坐享其成,又可以被照顧
一切都是自尊心理作祟所至,
結論一句講晒,魚與熊掌,不可兼得!!
(Found the comment on "anyways" to be hilarious)
Um... hai loh... I have a few friends who are mid-30s successful and always complaining about non-bf situation. I nod my head and ignore. You're absolutely right: you made a choice in life. So live with it.
1. 香港中女問題，是因為世界在變化，但她們又不能跟上世界變化的腳步，所以做成的。
2.安全感來看一段開始中的愛情，在現今世界已經不可能存在。
3. 說真就算現在一個年過三十的中女，放下身段也未必找到他們的所謂姊弟戀，冇用男。
也未必有那些男人給她們去選擇。
4.所以思想很正確，一定以拍拖為首位，如果你選事業行先，就一定會變成中女。
宜家既女仔同男仔同上一代諗野差好遠!
小弟曾經同朋友(男女都有)討論結婚問題, 男仔係會好好好好想take care個女仔, 好想perfectly take care到佢地既另一半, 甚至係整個家庭, 希望個女仔完全依靠男人! 但宜家既女仔唔會只係忠於家庭, 唔會完全依靠男人!
佢地會為自己打算, 萬一個男人唔要佢地 or something, 佢地要有個錢旁身, 唔可以冇事業乜都冇地一世靠個男人! 亦因為女仔既經濟能力越黎越獨立, 變左男人想做既野(take care佢地)就變左唔可以totally be done! 亦因為咁, 就越黎越多毒男, 中女等等既terms出左黎!
我唔咪講緊話宜家d男人唔好, 只係愛情li d野, 冇人可以guarantee 一生一世!
每一對男女既故事都唔同, key point係佢地大家要fit到大家既需要!!
quality time往往是指付出的時間少,但質素高。一個人如果能力有限,自然要付出多一點時間去換取同質素的回報。
例子一:煲4 小時電話粥,由BB講到巧令令。
例子二:兩小時晚飯,一個煮一個洗,談事業愛好旅行經歷。
多時間不等於高質素,有能力的人應該是可以愛情、事業、家庭全得意。
TO 陳大文: 女人看的是intangible asset,即是尊重,信任,關心、學識、你的名聲(爛滾定專一)。男人看的是fixed asset,美貌。一個是價值投資者,一個是炒家。做炒家沒有問題,但麻煩你做索羅斯,見周秀娜先食,唔好見著裙就食。
第二,當你想由炒家轉價值投資者時,並不是一朝一夕之事。那些信任、尊重是intangible asset,只能投資時間去獲得,並不能用錢買(炒家多現金,但少intangible asset)。
你花時間罵港女其實不符合經濟效益,因為你在祈望鬧完隻輪之後,佢會變成藍籌股。你覺得有可能嗎?
不如增加你自己的intangible asset,然後去搵你既藍籌股,如果已經搵到既么再提升囉,總好過浪費時間做些符合經濟效益的事。
節目播出至今六日，上載到 Youtube 48 小時內爆升為全球觀看率排第16，以22分鐘的一般時事特輯來看，受關注的程度非常驚人，已超出預計，不論 TVB 或 Youtube，當然包載主要上載者的我，都估不到竟然會有這麼爆炸性的反應。
2009 年的《港男講女、港女講男》，觀看率估計只有《中女告白》十分一，去年已覺得這兩集很熱爆，但原來「中女」話題更犀利。
或者我想借少少地方作一點補充。
我是特別轉載袁彌明回應中女告白的影片，而事先我是沒問過她，在此抱歉，轉載原因，是我想透過不同頻道，在配合《中女告白》最火熱的時候，看看不同頻道不同觀眾群，如何理解袁彌明的回應，結果是合符預期，觀眾普遍對她的回應都是正面，認為她說得有道理，表示讚賞，反對的只佔少數。
而當然，我也認為袁彌明的回應有理據才會轉載，相信可以為「中女」話題帶來多一點有建設性的思考。
坊間似乎很少談中女問題，這就證明了我一直對「港男港女」問題的評估沒錯，我以前已說過，傳媒和「潮人作家」都盡力鼓吹港女風氣，又同時踩低男性，現在，噢，港女不少壯，變中女了，對於帶動潮流的輿論界來說，真是弊傢伙，怕談中女就令「港女」變乖，少了港女，就失去了市場。
袁彌明從女性身份(有知名度是重要因素)說出了女性對人生路向的選擇，她說女人選事業就事業，選愛情就愛情，不要把愛情的失落推向事業，即是說，取向要清晰，這又引證了很多港女，其實有一共通點，就是「選擇 / 取向」極不清晰。
請參考：
http://hkgal-today.blogspot.com/2010/03/blog-post_6040.html
http://hkgal-today.blogspot.com/2010/03/blog-post_06.html
你係開頭係咁話唔回應，最後又錄9分幾鐘既VIDEO，你都幾好搞笑WOR。
自名係才女，講野又中又英，如果你既中文程度夠，根本唔而需要夾雜幾句簡單英文。
如果每個女人都好似你咁講，世界都只有拍拖，只有嫁人，只有男人，簡直沒殺左呢幾個世紀好努力爭取男女平等，為女人爭取權利既人。
女人已經進步，再唔係男人既附屬品，唔應該只為男人而活，我相信仲有好多中女唔係節目中咁，好多都係單身但仍過得好幸福。
身為一個公眾人物，雖然你唔紅，講既野唔會有太大影響力，但都應該中立點。
利益申報,我26單身中?女一名，有人追沒對象冇人養有份工有家人朋友錫。(學易拎姐的寫法:D)
其實單身中女問題真係咁嚴重?
享受事業成就而enjoy單身的女性大有人在，我唔認為佢唔成功。
不過，如果佢事業有成、單身但唔enjoy單身怨個天唔比個男人佢，咁我都覺得佢失敗。
佢最失敗的地方，在於佢唔接受到２揀１的現實，更重要的是，佢唔認同佢自己。
比我係男人都唔會想要事業心重的女人。
但我要養父母同弟弟，為左頭家我局住事業心重，如果因為咁變單身中女，ok我接受
why not?
與其求其嫁件令自己後悔的蛋散，不如享受下天倫之樂同盡情享受自己的人生～愛情係甜品，有我會好珍惜，沒有也無怨言，我揀ge。
4:42 上午, 三月 08, 2010 匿名：
咦？你覺得我係「數臭港女xxx宗罪」果啲人嚟呀？咁即係你未睇過我嘅 blog 喇好明顯，或者你睇過但理解唔到我嘅文章。
我談港女文章數量有限，反而罵政府及民【】【】最【】【】佔多喎。我寫港女係不留情面，但好奇異地，理解箇中含義和表示深切認同嘅，又真係女人多過男人喎，哈哈哈哈，知無？
嗱咁樣啦，你唔駛搬一堆乜乜投資邏輯出來，用投資與港女作比喻唔係唔得，但你嘅表述好唔貼題，邏輯上亦有偏差。
你講女人看男人的觀點，唔係好符合現今港女實況，而多數男人看女人亦唔係你所指咁樣，你嘅概念好類似潮人文章，建議唔好睇咁多消閒雜誌。
彌明:
一箭定江山先:人唔怕食鹹魚,只要知道有幾鹹,但好多人都係食完先大叫:點解咁鹹架?
Daniel.
彌明用回應其實男女雙方都好接受
所以youtube回應中除了些喜歡玩逆水
之外，大部份都是讚許。
一個女人剪短頭髮，look like a man
每個男人都會覺得她不在市場，你連打扮
就一定會有敗犬的結果。
深入些看，那個dj也是因自己早期太過事業
心重，忽略了家庭，丈夫才會離她而去
後來也救不回(我怎樣看出來因為她不停
的說我一方面要工作，一方面又要面對丈
夫的離異的問題)
dj也是短髮。
彌明也給了她們一個意見，就是如果不想做
敗犬，首先要打扮自己，放感情在第一位
如果想做女強人，咁就 just do it but
don't care anyone say "中女!!中女!!
" =O= ^^!
To 陳大文部落 ,
can you tell me what are the differences between woman & man ,beside the physical difference?
we are all human being ,have left and right brain,have the same emotions & desires etc...
I always read people's blog before I make any conclusion,that's the way how I respect everyone.
this is my reply to this topic at other blog:
我認為中毒太深的不止女性,也包括男性。香港人內心仍信奉一套女人最大的成就是結婚,要為婚姻付出一切。
對於那些信奉男尊女卑的人,尤其是男性,我有以下的話要說:
1)人是一張白紙,你畫什麼它就顯示什麼。那些事業心強的女性,尤其是商業女性只是因為她們一直學商科,自然有商人的性格。
你要怪,亦要怪提倡9年免費教育的人,怪發明internet的人,怪光纖之父高錕,因為是他們令教育普及。我就十分尊重這些造福人群的人。
2)女人男人,都是人。將心比已,現在社會對男人說"你夠鐘結婚生仔了,如果唔係你就係敗犬",你們會有什麼感受?
3)從商,得到的掌聲一定比對住爐頭煮飯要多,那些批評女強人的男人,煮過一次飯未?要令一個女人心甘情願為你煮飯,你俾佢既掌聲要比事業上獲得的掌聲要強烈,你有這個能力嗎?
再說,如果煮飯的事全落在女性身上,她一天只有24小時,煮得飯來就聽唔到你工作上的煩惱。你幫手洗碗,她不就有時間化個靚妝聽你講野囉。太計較,最終吃虧的是自己。
4)人與人相處就好比照鏡,你對別人微笑,別人會對你微笑。你不尊重人,別人亦自然不尊重你。你斤斤計較,別人亦做同樣的事。你付出愛、尊重,自然就收回愛和尊重。
當然以上提的東西,都需要時間來證明,但既然只需要付出時間就可以證明,為什麼不花一點時間呢?錢可能買很多東西,但永遠買不到尊重、信任、愛等等。
remember, you are what you are,every comment you made reflect your own mental age.
Mind me, even though I am just a female business student & may be physically younger than you, I have to point out your true picture.
ECHO
同意erica說的女人不應該得一想二:又要有事業又要嫁個好男人。雖然呢兩樣野唔係mutually exclusive, 但好難(不是冇可能)並存。
雖然自己還未是中女(但將來好大機會係，而且而家已經有中女特質), 但我同一D因為被標榜為中女而感到羞恥的女性講: 冇錯,你地可能用晒你地嘅青春喺事業上，到頭來搵唔到男心照顧，但你地諗下，男人會成日變,你唔sure佢第日會唔會搵第2個,但相反,錢唔變心, 咁與與將你嘅青春俾左一個你唔知靠唔靠得住嘅男人，不如用你嘅青春去搵多d錢好過。遇到好男人固然係好,但遇到衰嘅就真係慘過從來都冇。
女人唔同男人,男人就算幾老,都會有女人(仔)痴埋身; 女人唔同,老左就一定冇人要。所以就算女人後生時搵到男人結左婚相夫教子, 只要你老公唔要你,你就乜都冇,所以唯一可以為自己鋪後唔就係搵多d錢傍身。
男人會成日變,你唔sure佢第日會唔會搵第2個,但相反,錢唔變心, 咁與與將你嘅青春俾左一個你唔知靠唔靠得住嘅男人，不如用你嘅青春去搵多d錢好過。遇到好男人固然係好,但遇到衰嘅就真係慘過從來都冇。
----Investment 101: Risk and Return.
無風險點會有回報?
can you tell me what are the differences between woman & man ,beside the physical difference?
-- 男女除左生理、體能不同，當然仲有好多嘢唔同啦：
心態、思考方向(男女不盡相同)、對事物的理解、邏輯運算(男女各有長處)、男女腦部賀爾蒙差別、等等等等。
點解仲要花時間去爭論呢個問題呢？
人與人相處亦好難用「純技術加減數計算」來看待，人唔係機械人，人會有感性、理性、犯罪感、母性父性、英雄感、抗爭性等等，唔係 1+1 =2 的。
you are what you are,every comment you made reflect your own mental age <---無須要時刻計算別人是什麼心態的，做人輕鬆一點，太鑽牛角尖沒好處。
消化一下。
心態、思考方向(男女不盡相同)、對事物的理解、邏輯運算(男女各有長處--determined by what type of knowledge they received
can you explain why a female finance student can speak financial language ?maybe it's because she learn that language from the textbook.If I learn as an finance student ,I will act as a finance student,my gender has approximately zero influence to my behavior.
Please verify your logic.
If you think from both perspective, you will have the whole picture,Now you are just thinking from male's angle.
I don't have to 消化一下,every word come out of your mouth is how you interpret my message, not me.I am just a human being, and you are a man.
人與人相處亦好難用「純技術加減數計算」來看待，人唔係機械人，人會有感性、理性、犯罪感、母性父性、英雄感、抗爭性等等--你這一句就對了,但不要忘了男女老幼,都是人。
你覺得哪一個更合邏輯:
一位商科生會看economist,不管他/她的性別。
Economist是男人的讀物,所以女人不會看,也不了解。
對,我了解香港看economist的女性也許比較少,但不等於你可以得出"心態、思考方向(男女不盡相同)、對事物的理解、邏輯運算(男女各有長處)"的結論。
邏輯錯=結論錯=原則錯=行為錯=garbage in garbage out
例子一:食豬腦可以增長智慧
例子二:多思考學習可以增長智慧
所以一定要花時間去梳理清楚你的邏輯
假設男女各因為粉紅粉藍的盒子,而我分別各放了同一本商科書在內,你認為顏色會改變那本書的內容嗎?把焦點放在盒子的表面之上,就永遠看不到盒子裏有什麼東西。
而事實上正正因為女性既了解自己的本性,又學過你腦中定義為男人的科目:商科,所以可以分別從男、女角度思考,但你有看到並欣賞這一點嗎?
你嘅概念好類似潮人文章，建議唔好睇咁多消閒雜誌。-->我只不過是從一個25歲人的角度去看這個世界,我平時閱讀的雜誌是New Scientist, Economist, Times,Harvard Business Review,香港的八掛雜誌,閣下的blog 都曾拜讀過。
請你自行定奪那些是潮人文章,那些是消閒雜誌。
而你是從男性角度去看香港女性未婚問題。
To :
暫時不能尋找達到自己理想門檻的伴侶時，也要學習排列追求人生理想的先後次序。-->此準則男女都適合用,你傳遞出來的訊息是好婚姻是女人最大的成就,所以女人要為自己的未來,即是婚姻負全責。
那么男人呢?好婚姻不是男人的成就?他們不用負那么多負任就可以有好婚姻?
我知道男人一定解讀成女人斤斤計較,等我再用例子說明:
每個人每天都有24小時,男女老幼都一樣
一段關係中有practice type,亦有soulmate type
practice:洗衫,煮飯,做家務,需時長
soulmate:聆聽者的角色,技巧好的話,付出的時間不多但回報大
但技巧是需要時間去練習,practise make perfect,沒有人一出生就是好的聆聽者
任何人,男女都是,不可以祈望對方一拍即合,所以一定要學會分擔practical role,令對方有時間去改善自己的溝通技巧。要做到這樣,你應該把女人當成人,你問她要什麼先要看看自己可以付出什麼,女人亦應該這樣想。
誰先做付出者的角色,誰就先有收獲。
你現在的動作是等女性來決定你的婚姻。
另一方面,我想指出人最大的本錢是時間,而男女的確黃金時間不一樣,但別忘了女人比較長壽。別認為男人越老越值(老不等於成熟,外表不等於內涵),你花時間找一個錯配,表面上看是女人蝕底,但從經濟學角度看,你沒有考慮自己的opportunity cost(就是與對的人相處的時間),你把別人當成次選時,你自己也是處於次選的位置。
To 陳大文:
節目播出至今六日，上載到 Youtube 48 小時內爆升為全球觀看率排第16，以22分鐘的一般時事特輯來看，受關注的程度非常驚人，已超出預計，不論 TVB 或 Youtube，當然包載主要上載者的我，都估不到竟然會有這麼爆炸性的反應。
-->數據多不代表什麼,quantity doesn't mean quality
一群迷途羔羊中總有一兩隻羊跑在前面,但即使他跑得有幾前,後面有幾多跟隨者都好,都改變不了一個事實:他在迷路,而且還迷得幾嚴重。
腦結構差異 男女大不同
林天送（美國聖路易華盛頓大學教授）
男女的生理結構不同，腦結構也不同。一般來說，男女有不同的認知能力與感受：女性比較重感情、有好的語言記憶力、社交能力好、能想出較多的主意去解決問題。而男性的數學推理、視覺空間與方向感則比較好。
SAT（Scholar Aptitude Test能力測驗）的統計，語言能力滿分的人數中女生比男生多一成，但數理滿分的人數中男生比女生多一成，這些認知能力的差別是來自不同的腦結構及運作程序。
腦神經連線男女有別
最明顯的是，女性的腦袋比男人小15％，這是因為女性的體重比男人輕。不過，S.Witelson教授發現：女人的腦額葉的細胞密度比男人高，這些細胞會做更多的神經連線，尤其是負責情緒的邊緣系統。
先來看男女的「性」趣差別。一般來說，男人的性慾比女性強烈，而性慾是決定於下視丘前端的性雙態核（簡稱SDN），男性的SDN比女性大二倍半。又女性的腦胼胝體比男人稍微長而大些，胼胝體有神經纖維輔助做詳細的連接，就像一條大電線內又含有成千的小銅絲，能使左右腦互通、學習與記憶，這使得女性的思考常是全腦運作，尤其是語言的表達能力；又女性也有比較多的連接兩邊視丘的中間質。
在老化的過程中，腦細胞會逐漸死亡，但男性會發生得早些，死亡數目也較高。男性的前葉及顳葉區的組織最容易死亡，這部位負責思考及感情，所以老男人有時候會性情大變；女性的海馬迴及頂葉的組織較易死亡，所以老婦人的記憶力及方向感較差，這跟動情激素的分泌有關。
最近科學家用功能磁共振掃描儀來測量思考運作情況，發現女性常同時用左腦與右腦思考，而男人則大多只用左腦思考。故女性的用腦比較廣泛，會想出多方面的方式去解決問題，而男性則比較集中。
女性善表達男性較不怕痛
研究又發現，右腦管感情的事，左腦管語言表達。這說明男人比較不容易訴說或表達感情的事，故男人的收聽感受比女人差。
同意 Erica. 最緊要攪清楚自己想要乜。
陳大文兄，唔好同佢傻啦。
To阪本龍一:
請問SAT（Scholar Aptitude Test能力測驗）是什麼時候做的研究?
不要忘了一件事情,在internet 出現之前,是男性接受較多教育,女性接受教育的快速比男性慢,即是說同樣是5 年的data,女性的softskill level 可能仍在1st stage,而男性已經發展到3st stage.
請問你怎麼量化一個慾望/soft skill?
就好像拿1年內流的100 ml 的眼淚和200 ml的眼淚相比,結論是流200ml的那個人比較傷心?how can you measure a feeling?
腦袋比男人小15％-->沒有什麼關係吧,照你這么說每個女人的智商水平應該一樣。
年齡、性別對人吸收知識的速度沒有直接影響。過去是因為女性接受教育的難度較男性高,所以左右腦的發展會不活躍(刺激不多),是我與外界的接觸決定我左右腦的活躍度,而不是我的性別年齡來決定我左右腦的活躍度。
女性善表達男性較不怕痛-->等於女性男性一出生就有這功能?那麼一位女性如果有弱聽的問題(如我),我仍會善於表達?
我的表達能力是取決於我與其他人的互動,練習表達能力,而不是因為我的性別或聆聽能力。沒有人一出生就擁有某種能力,男人數理好,是因為學數理的男人在過去是主流,practice make perfect,但當學數理的女性學習時間一樣,出來的差異度可能很輕微。
我想說的是,男女在softskill level可能差異度不大,是會有差異,但不像你現在這樣一刀切。
男人比較不容易訴說或表達感情的事-->會不會是因為文化原因?社會傳遞一個訊息給男人要做強者,不可以表現他們的情緒,於是他們回應這個訊息的行動就是沉默?所以最後他們的溝通技巧就沒有機會練習?沒有用那個技巧,自然就不容易訴說或表達感情的事。
女性的腦袋比男人小15％-->
照你這么說,size一樣 = 功能一樣 = 智力一樣??哈哈~有趣~
最近科學家用功能磁共振掃描儀來測量思考運作情況，發現女性常同時用左腦與右腦思考，而男人則大多只用左腦思考。-->會不會是因為過去教育未普及,所以女性只使用右腦,而男人因為學習知識就常用左腦,但當教育普及,女人仍需要學過去女人要學的技巧,而同時又學男人所吸收的知識和技巧,所以左右腦的活躍度相近,什至可以互相溝通?請問男人有學過去女人要學的技巧嗎?
一個人若用雙眼看事物、兩種角度去分析、左右腦去思考,得到的結論總會比一隻眼看事物、一個角度去分析、一邊腦去分析要完整。
知識是用來記載人的活動,而人的活動是取決那人與周圍事物的交流,書本是死的,技巧是活的。你想學幾多就視乎你有幾清楚自己想要什麼。
To:"陳大文兄，唔好同佢傻啦",你係第幾隻羊呀?用下你既右腦啦,唔好浪費上天俾你既資源。
2:48 下午, 三月 10, 2010 匿名：
數據多不代表什麼,quantity doesn't mean quality <---你同「占士金馬倫」講啦下~~
一群迷途羔羊中總有一兩隻羊跑在前面,但即使他跑得有幾前,後面有幾多跟隨者都好,都改變不了一個事實:他在迷路...<---呢啲嘢你同「明光社」講啦，佢地會歡迎你的，thanks。
3:29 上午, 三月 10, 2010 匿名：
你成日覺得男女必然一模一樣，雖然唔會花時間和你去討論呢啲咁嘅問題，但最簡單我又問下你：
男人和女人諗嘢方式當然有分別啦，各有各長處，但吊詭嘅係，點解一般理解係女人叻煮嘢食，但大廚師又通常係男人？？
亦有一般說法，指女人藝術思維較好，但點解好多藝術家、音樂家、甚至電影大導演，又通常男人跑出？
因為女人偏向純感性，但男人會夾雜多啲邏輯思維和分析力，就算藝術又好、經濟分析也好、做乜都好，單靠純感性係唔得的。
唔係話男人叻定女人叻嘅問題，但認為男人和女人必然一樣，呢個就笑死人。
1:49 下午, 三月 11, 2010 匿名：
我知道你嘅留言係咩目的，都係用番包拗頸然後用一大堆乜乜生理學說來吹水。
但你呢種方法，幾年前 she.com 還有市場，而家已經唔得喇，再搬舊嘢出來已經無乜意義。
香港男人就業困難，最大原因係政策、人力資源嚴重錯配，一面倒傾向金融和推銷、及「文職」工作，已經和「女人叻定男人叻」嘅問題。有咁嘅政策，就有咁嘅社會失衡，好多人已經深明此道，但你似乎連呢個咁基本嘅理解都未明白，你可以繼續自我催眠。
之前有另一位留言者引例男女腦部結構，亦唔係爭拗「男人叻定女人叻啲」呢樣嘢。更唔係你所誤解「功能一樣 = 智力一樣」，你都未達到水平去理解人地講乜。
你繼續睇廉價潮女文章吧，或者你(妳?)可能就係呢種過氣 outdate 潮女...
我只是說男女在大腦發展能力上,更具體地說是softskill & IQ,是沒有差別,但表面上當然有分別。
但吊詭嘅係，點解一般理解係女人叻煮嘢食，但大廚師又通常係男人？？-->你也這樣認為呢,年齡,性別不會決定一個人的工作取向,是能力,更仔細地說,是花的時間。
那麼為什麼不能接受你口中的中女,她們在商業分析能力上比男人好些?為什麼要說她們要為自己so call 的"失敗事業"負責?why should they apologize for their gender and age just because they are more capable than same (Physical)age ,but less capable men?
人力資源嚴重錯配-->點會錯配呢?現今的女性是用左右腦思考,男性暫時只用左腦,你覺得邊個轉數快d 呢?
我從來沒有說男人叻過女人叻,我是說有能力的人叻,有能力的人會分男女嗎??似乎你才有這種either 男人叻 or 女人叻的思想。
我么講左囉,physical age is 25,mental age is slightly higher than my physical age.你唔信都冇辨法,現實就是現實,難道我的實力會因為你不相信而降低嗎?而你的能力就因為不肯面對現實而提升嗎?
再講,我提過男女在大腦發展上沒有差異,男人想左右腦互通,么善用你的左右腦。不要以為有左右腦,那些技巧都存在,技巧是需要年月來累積的‧
建議你花時間從頭慢慢用個心去讀,不要用一隻眼去睇。
《星期二檔案》的「中女告白」真夠TVB：簡單，清楚，不拐圈子。片中訪問了幾個年紀由30至40不等的香港女人，分析她們的被稱為「中女」的心路歷程。我相信大部分香港人看完後，都一定知道節目想營造的效果，是告訴全香港所有成年的單身女性：「你不結婚，你就死路一條。」
被訪問的中女都好像中了降，中的，叫結婚降。她們要結婚，而不是戀愛。
我不能明白，為什麼一些「自以為」讀很多書的女生，說的話都那麼荒謬。她們知道，她們要的不是愛情，而是依靠，而是生活伴侶。那就不要把事情收到愛情的幌子之中，因為她們根本不會愛。不會愛自己，更不會愛人。
我更不明白為什麼人要把結婚當成人生的一套syllabus，沒有做過，就好像他們的人生不合格一樣。
再說我不明白男女在心態上平等,即是接受對方的實際能力,有什麼壞處。
我在
為一間公司設計新產品
參加商業分析比賽
寫我的畢業論文
煮飯、洗衫、買餸
安排自己的時間表
管理我自己的錢(那是我工作辛苦儲來讀書)
我既明白男人追求事業時的心態、家中財政有困難時的壓力、社會對他的過高期望,因為我現在從男人的角度走一次,到將來我丈夫追求事業時有挫折時,我會明白他的難處和他的感覺,知道怎麼安慰和支持他,不是那種口上說"你一定得",而是實際從他的角度去思考。
我都會希望有男人明白女人對住個爐頭煮飯既難處,日日要諗煮么野,煮完又要洗,屋企燈泡壞左又要去買、間屋有塵又要吸,都是體力活。坦白講,我用腦就可以舒服搵錢,何苦要操勞自已?如果那男人沒有做過家務,他又怎麼明白體力活的疲累?不懂的時候,當我向他訴苦時,他只會覺得你呢d 女人識么野,我用腦,你出力,我辛苦d /重要d,他就永遠不會珍惜我的付出,不體諒我的難處。
那為什麼我要找這種人做伴侶呢?他會明白什麼叫體諒和尊重嗎?這樣的關係不會太長久。
你不用費神操心我是不是中女,也不要說什麼"這世界沒有這類的女人",其實這一類的女人香港有很多,但懂得從女性角度思考的男人不多‧
大文兄:
你咁多回應，暴光率真高。
你有女朋友未呀?
你點同你女友溝通嫁，願聞其詳。
哈哈 中女 便 中男問題。
不要再回應這文章啦，大文。
男/女的分別
女性是 公主 變 中文/敗犬
男性是 電車 變 巴士阿叔
不想做中女，唯一方法要把愛情放第一位
但不要以釣金龜為目標，九成會離婚收場
因為男人有錢就會很多女人埋佢身。
I don't agree with her in this response. She thought all of these "middle-women" didn't get a guy because they didn't spend time to look for one while they were in their twenties, or they prioritized career first in their twenties. I think that's wrong. Not all of these "middle-women" were like that (didn't look, and/or prioritized career first).
All of my cousins dated/looked for guys throughout their twenties, but they broke up or couldn't find one that matches. They later met more suitable guys when they were 30-31 and then got married a few years later. So, it's not always because they didn't look in their twenties or that they prioritized career over love, it can be because of they couldn't find suitable guys or that the guys they dated back in the 20's were not suitable.
女性是 公主 變 中文/敗犬
男性是 電車 變 巴士阿叔
看到嗎?他們是絕配。
一個同時從男女角度思考的女人只會找一個同時從女男角度思考的男人,因為他/她們在找的是一個喜歡的人。
你想要的是一個身份/角色(女人)還是一個真心愛你的人,是由你自己決定的人。
你是男人,自然吸引女人。
你是成熟思考的人,自然吸引到成熟思考的人。
再說鼓吹什麼"結婚是女人最大的事業",其實是傳送一個男尊女卑的思想,人是由思想主導行為。
也許今天是情侶角色時,問題不大。但到成了夫妻,父母(責任多,實際問題也多)時,仍用一高一低的思想去相處,後果會是怎麼樣呢?想想中國的家長式教育,所說的也是一高一低的關係。
我不認為節目中找不到丈夫的女性,她們有做錯。有能力也叫錯?那么"大廚師又通常係男人" ,那些男人也是錯?別看到對男人身份有利的事就支持,對男人身份不利的事就踩(指責事業有成的女性)
再說20幾歲,才剛畢業幾年就要結婚?我高估陳大文先生對香港20s女性所面對的難處的理解和包容。我亦沒有說不結婚,只是我想指出有敗犬,必定出現電車,電車不要嚐試去改變別人,而是改變自己,將自己變成普通但成熟的人,才能吸引同類的人,才可以改變自己的現狀。
沒有人可以改變到別人,只有是改變自己去吸引自己想要找的人。
如果你因為不相信香港仍有成熟思考的女性而堅持做電車,吃虧的又是誰呢?被動的又是誰呢?
當一位女性跟你說,我不要錢,但我要尊重,你又有能力豪俾她嗎?男性要是一直在心態上認為比女性強,想做主導者,就永遠給不了她想要的尊重。(想想香港政府,你覺得政府有尊重過你嗎?男人在香港社會的地位就是現今事業有成的香港女性在一段愛情關係中的地位,陳大文先生對政府的感覺就是事業有成的女性對陳大文的感覺)。
別說什麼那些女性社會地位高,那只是表面的現象.心態上依賴是男尊女卑。
眼見未必是真的,真的你又不用心去看。
彌明:
真是要逼我出手:還在閱讀中,但都要分享這本書~~~~~~:)
單身，不是你想的那樣！(Singled Out)
http://www.books.com.tw/exep/prod/booksfile.php?item=0010452011
Daniel.
the reason I (tried to )response every single comment were:
1st ) There is no room for complacency, I just want to point out the difference I see, I didn't aim at winning the arguing battle. Remember: Exaggerating the problem is not the way to solve it.
2nd)I think Asian are suffer from the psychology of colonialism and act proud that we were worthy of being colonized.
I believe everyone is unique, and has his/her strength and weakness, Don’t waste your time on exaggerating the problem. If you really want to waste your time,** waste**it on exploring your own strength, the payoff is higher, I can promise.
Echo u rock, despite the seemingly strong language u use. Can't believe u're only 25.
for some reasons, i hv little desire to pop into 陳大文's blog, day one when he left his link at many popular bloggers' places. Too vulgar. Not my cup of tea.
It seems to me many married/engaged girls look upon their single counterparts with a "pity-you" perspective, as if they were winners. A life has many dimensions. Only in the end one can tell if he/she has lived a non-regrettable life.
我鍾意你用視頻回應，但想講少少（真係好少）意見。
彭晴以前係留長頭髮。
男人未必喜歡愛說大道理,
牙尖嘴利,不顧他人感受,
多管閒事,講太多諷刺性的說話的女性
每個人對生活的態度都有不同.
事業愛情親情友情甚至自己等等
大家都有不同的優先次序
愛干涉他人的生活
對他人所選擇的有所批評 是對嗎
他們可能是正在迷路 兜一個大圈子不好嗎 他們學到的事可能比你多
雖然你的性格是有話直說 值得欣賞 但同時會傷害到好多人.可能你已經習慣 但是令人討厭自己是一件難過的事.
順便多說 我女友以前經常讓人錯認為TB 一些女人味都沒有 但我就是喜歡她自然 易近人
即使不用打扮自己的外表 都有人會留意到他的美。
有打扮的女生雖然外表是美 但是心裡面是否美 要相處一段日子先明白.
沒有打扮 像男生的女生起碼不會是一名庸脂俗粉 這點真的一看便明白。
中女,單身女人又如何? 沒有戀愛 最後沒有結婚又如何? 藉著友情親情事業 都可以找到他們的幸福 快樂。
TO Selina:
Thank you so Much!!!:)
I always believe quantity doesn't mean quality ,and this rule apply to everyone,as long as they make the same efford as me.
To:男人未必喜歡愛說大道理,
牙尖嘴利,不顧他人感受,
多管閒事,講太多諷刺性的說話的女性
It's always good to know what you want.
Maybe I am the Absolute Vodka to most people, but there are always someone will see me as his cup of tea.I just need to find that person.
Don't forget,Hk is just a small city, we have other countries on this planet.
Mind me, I am just 25,still have plenty of time to locate my market.
TO those who think I am too offensive/strong (especially HK guys;)
I would like to summarize my messages:
1) I believe everyone have the same learning ability, no matter their age, gender and physical ability. It’s all depends on how HARD WORKINGof he/she .
And I think they deserve the same respect from the society basic on their ability and contribution ONLY.
IF you think I am too strong /offensive, I would like to share one song with you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4cVGa33PUY
I think ‘你有沒有看見我的傷,你若還是一如往常” exactly describe how I feel now (from the perspective of a young woman, business student)
The ONLY reason I act so offensive ,NOT because I want to be as popular as 趙燕萍/陳大文,NOT because I want to START A WAR between men and women. It is just because I want to share my feeling from the perspective of a HK young women &business student, so you could see the difference between how you feel and how I see this society.
After all , I wish everyone in HK could find his /her 遺失的美好。
Now if you change you mind, please protect me, don’t Google me or send me to the media, as I prefer normal and quiet life:)
one word. I actually re-watched the TVB program to see who the "boyish" women are (as pilloried by some over the internet.)
My feeling: i find them TOTALLY OKAY. If they can be described overly boyish, then one quarter of hk girls can be put into dustbin as well. They talk and act normal. (in fact i find them more natural than Winnie & Yoko ).
That said, i also hope my remarks here won't add to them any unnecessary (media) pressure. I am just expressing some of my genuine feeling. Any maker of different opinion should not be instantly dubbed as 趙燕萍 (et al), which only reflects one's shallowness.
車, 呢D 係中國人文化姐, 如果全世界個個都為左單身中女而唔開心, 咁就唔會有 SEX & THE CITY 呢D 戲啦。世界變了, 但人們思想依舊, 咪有 矛盾囉
哎呀, 我覺得做人好唔浪漫....年紀大就冇戀愛嗎 ? 有D人六十歲先結婚都係咁啦。好多人恨結婚, 恨拍拖, 係怕比人話之 MA。戀愛0既野, 真係講緣份。我識過幾個有女友, 有老婆的男人, 幾好傾, 但當然知底線啦, 我唔會做第三者。愛唔一定要擁有, 淺嚐一剎那好傾, 都已經好開心
令人討厭自己是一件難過的事-->haha..don't assume too much ,you are not even on my friend list.One day you will be disappointed by your own assumption.
*說大道理,
牙尖嘴利,不顧他人感受,
多管閒事,講太多諷刺性的說話的女性* If you read my reply,you will find I tried not to say mean things like*you are a loser *or labeled people,as I think it's disrespect by labeling someone.
Also I don't want to embarrass myself by peeing in front of public.Don't call me a bitch ,because you did pee and I am just being honest.
I am writing this from a business student perspective and for the future Hongkongese,I always think the world is a Jungle ,survival of the fittest is the only rule we need to follow.
It's always up to you to choose survive or not, No one can eliminate other,you are the only one who should take care of your own life.
erica 你對陳志雲被補有無回應?
你會唔會返番去TVB做野?
現今社會吹向女性強於男性，女強人難以有美滿的愛情，原因已顯明。男性好勝心較強，多喜歡比自己弱的。所以，對於女強人而言，是否應該學會「做好2份工」，事業要剛強，但在丈夫/男朋友面前，要懂得裝作柔弱，喜歡他的保護，和欣賞他的強處。
erica 希望志雲走左後你可以返番去tvb 做野啦
但我發覺呢....依家D 男仔唔係 幼稚咁簡單。好多都響父母 SPOIL 之下, (特別係 後期因為個個都生得少, 所以生仔好難, 於是特別 錫) 變左好多男仔都唔識愛人 , 甚至係 唔尊重人, 冇禮貌....呢樣野都唔係就對方就得, 因為呢D 係 「格屎」
樂小姐走埋erica應該可以返去gei
but the point is...仲咩要番去?! haha
我覺得未必個個學你咁可以講全職拍拖囉, 未嫁得出之前都要自己顧自己啦!而且唔搵多d錢點去扮靚ar, 你都好明白好多女人都唔係天生麗質gar la, 唔執執點得ar~
事業同愛情係要balance, 偏重邊一邊都會出問題囉! 個個掛住相夫教子, 咁同古代有咩分別?
你好erica~我一路都有睇開你既網誌,今日心血來潮申請帳戶都係想講句支持你既說話~
希望你可一直都keep住寫,因你講既野都幾夭中我心咖,而且你既睇法好多都同我好貼切,so,十萬份支持~
p.s 放心啦我唔係d學生少女粉絲團,我都好大個咖啦~
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